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Showing posts from January, 2021

Decluttering Day 4: The Homeless in my House

  Sebagaimana chapter dalam buku, hari ini saya masuk babak ke-empat dari keseluruhan proses tidying-up. This is the rightest way to begin the change of life --life changing experience doesn't have to be travel far to the outside world, travel far to the inside could also do-- and Marie Kondo is 90% right about this process. Proses penyimpanan adalah memastikan semua benda memiliki rumah, karena sumber dari clutter adalah karena benda-benda itu tidak punya tempat khusus untuk mereka berteduh. Put items based on category, every single one of them should have a designated spot.  Jadi saya mulai mengkategorikan benda-benda. Mudah untuk pakaian, sulit untuk komono  atau printilan. Sekarang, masalah baru mulai datang. Dan benar kata Marie Kondo, ini seperti menyusun jigsaw puzzle yang butuh fokus mendalam. Kenapa saya bilang ini adalah masalah baru? Begini.. I have a thing with commitment, okay. I can't even permanently nail the cables to the wall karena saya masih sering berpindah

Decluttering Day 3: Reset Button

  This is harder than I thought. When I discard mementos from ten-fifteen years ago, as it turns out, it's easier than when I found a letter from a friend from a year ago. It was today when I finished my trip in Raijua. Hari ini saya juga selesai  nyaris selesai dengan proses tidying-up.  Tadi sore sudah mulai membersihkan ruang kosong di kamar depan. Barang-barang sudah siap pulang. Mereka yang dipulangkan adalah mereka yang memang masih saya ingat walau jarang dipakai: glue gun, hairdryer, songket Dayak buat cowok yang entah mau dikasih ke siapa padahal dulu dibeli tadinya buat Eyang. Sekarang Eyang sudah ga butuh lagi benda-benda seperti itu. Yang dia butuh hanya hadirnya kita di sana. Saya terlarut oleh emosi saat membaca surat dari Basa. Betapa saat itu, mati-matian ingin membunuh perasaan, dan hingga saat ini sulit sekali untuk bisa berperasaan lagi. I've gone too far, I think. I just have to stay in the middle, gak terlalu deep soal berperasaan, tapi juga ga heartless ju

02.14

  Entah apa ini karna emotional declutter, atau simply karna memang ruangan jadi penuh debu. Saya malah jadi flu berat, saking seringnya bersin dan menyeka hidung, sekarang kepala ikut-ikutan berat. Tapi bukan jenis kepala berat seperti waktu PMS. Beda ini mah. Ini jenis kepala berat yang bisa sembuh dengan decolgen. Omg.. I took another pill again tonite. Duh.. maaf ya kidneys.. Yang jelas, sedari tadi sy sudah mulai reda pileknya. Begitu keluar kamar sebentar tuk ke kamar mandi, hidung langsung meler lagi dan bersin bersin dahsyat lagi. Decluttering memento is truly a special and sacred moment!

Decluttering Day 2: What's past is past.

  Kamu merasa seperti berada di jalan buntu, menjalani rutinitas yang sama setiap hari dan seolah tidak ada progres. You were stuck, and it feels like a dead end. I'll tell you what, maybe you should revisit yourself. Tengok benda-benda yang lama tertumpuk di dalam lemari mu. Di dalam kotak-kotak yang kau janji akan digunakan suatu hari nanti tapi tidak pernah kau gunakan. Old pillow you never use, packaging boxes you promise to reuse or a necklace that you never wear. Semua benda itu, tidak hanya menyerap energi positifmu dan mentransfer energi negatif yang tanpa sadar kamu serap, mereka juga mengumpulkan debu-debu yang membuatmu tidak nyaman bahkan untuk sekedar mendekati mereka. Hari ini saya mulai decluttering lebih pagi. Selepas bikin sarapan dan melakukan satu-dua hutang pekerjaan, saya berhasil memulai jauh sebelum jam makan siang. Hasilnya, satu kotak tisu habis pada pukul sembilan malam. Seharian bersin tidak berhenti, padahal sudah pakai masker sensi. Debu-debu yang disim

Decluttering Day 1: Yes, it happens, and no, Marie Kondo isn't always right.

  Saya benar-benar berniat untuk decluttering hari ini, untuk itu serangkaian persiapan saya lakukan dan memulai perjalanan ini sejak pukul delapan.. malam. Jangan buru-buru menuduh saya sebagai true procrastinator because I am , karena saya punya alasan kenapa baru mulai selarut ini. ( o yeah. A true procrastinator always have the perfect excuses for why they're not doing what they should be doing).  Anyway,, Jika memang kamu dimaksudkan untuk melakukan sesuatu, maka semesta akan berkonspirasi untuk mengarahkanmu ke jalan yang harus kamu tempuh itu. Niat saya untuk membenahi clutter, ( clutter ki Boso Indonesane opo e.. ) sudah ada sejak awal Bulan Desember saat mulai merencanakan ajuan cuti tahunan. Saat itu cuti saya semua akan dipakai untuk mengurusi segala keperluan Eyang dan Mama (yang juga untuk urus Eyang). Mulai dari jemput ke bandara, istirahat di Bogor, antar ke Pamanukan, dan rute sebaliknya. Saya hitung-hitung itu semua hanya membutuhkan waktu enam hari karena ada tamb

Decluttering Season!!

  After I put on my pajamas and finish my night ritual, I started to think that this.. is my comfort zone. If someone suddenly told me to leave my comfort zone in the name of brand new life, yeah.. get off! I ain't leavin anywhere. Because to me now, the only thing that I need to leave is an old pattern. And the only way to leave an old pattern is by recognizing it and break it with full power. I have invited a bunch of people to declutter their house today. Most of the women around the block are following my lead and get excited about it. The energy is abundant, that I have to take a quick nap from being too excited. My morning started good, and my night.. even better.  I just clean up the house. Ironing is always the first step to do when I'm into house cleaning, and I am so happy that the ironing aid that I bought randomly a few weeks ago, turns out to have the best scent I've ever had --for a softener--. The brand name is weird; yoa, like a snake but with y; boa, lol. I

Kita cuma punya waktu. Cuma itu.

 Saya tidak bisa biasa saja ketika membaca kabar tentang jatuhnya pesawat Sriwijaya SJ182 sore kemarin. Bahwa kematian itu dekat sekali adanya, tapi saya sering sekali terlupa, terlena, masih menunda-nunda pekerjaan, dan selalu beranggapan saya masih punya banyak waktu.  Apalagi tadi sore saat sedang menunggu makan malam takeaway, saya baca sekilas tulisan di Tempo digital, tentang seorang Ibu yang baru pulang mengunjungi anaknya. Ibu itu.. mengunjungi anaknya, dan pulang menumpang pesawat yang tidak pernah lepas landas. Kejadian itu bisa terjadi pada siapa saja, termasuk kamu, saya, kita tidak pernah bisa merencanakan apakah akan naik pesawat yang akan mendarat atau yang berhenti di tengah jalan. Bahwa ternyata, ketibaan kita setelah terbang berjam-jam adalah nikmat luar biasa yang hanya disyukuri sekenanya, adalah kenyataan yang sampai sekarang butuh terus menerus pengingat naas seperti ini.  Ibu saya juga baru kembali dari sini, menumpang pesawat, menempuh perjalanan berjam-jam lama

Love your digestive system!

  Being a person with weak digestive system is hard. Seperti saya yang sudah berhari-hari berjibaku dengan PMS dan masih baik-baik saja dalam urusan pencernaan, sampai pada suatu hari saya telat makan selama tiga jam, lalu efeknya sampai dua hari kemudian. Pagi ini malah masih parah. Saya dipaksa harus mengeluarkan isi perut yang sudah terkuras sepagian. Sedari subuh, selepas solat, saya seduh madu dengan air hangat, di makan bersama tiga sendok oatmeal yang saya makan selama tiga puluh menit dengan sendokan yang keciiil kecil sekali. Itu pun setelah dikonsumsi harus dikeluarkan lagi. Setelah matahari sudah mulai muncul, saya makan sedikit demi sedikit biskuit roma kelapa --my eternal favorit biscuit-- yang lalu dicerna dengan baik oleh isi perut sebelum dikeluarkan lagi. Endingnya adalah saya yang berdiri selama lima menit di depan toilet, dipaksa kembali menguras isi perut, tapi sudah tidak ada lagi yang bisa keluar karena sudah tidak ada isi. Do you want a girl with flat stomach? I

02.17

  I hope my kidneys will forgive me because I took two pills today. I don’t know whom I should thank: the PMS, or the guy from yesterday who deliver my order three hours late. My problem with PMS is the symptom look very much alike with stomach acid. Or maybe, the reflux is generated from PMS due to hormonal imbalance. So I got headache, and I throw up a lot. It’s been thirty minutes now since I woke up and throw up for nothing except for the unpleasant noise. if this is PMS, then it’ll be the longest PMS in history. My period won’t come until next week and I already had it since a couple days ago, which will make it ten or twelve days of PMS. Crazy, right? It should be between three to five days. But if this is reflux karna telat makan kemarin yang nungguin cumi dijanjiin jam dua datang jam lima, maka ini jadi pembelajaran buat gw juga sebagai sesama pelaku usaha bidang makanan. Jangan pernah ngejanjiin mau anter makanan di jam yang gabisa ditepati. Efeknya fatal kalau dia sampe nungg

Dark and Blue. [Revised]

  If I set it to the green light, I'll feel like a witch in front of cauldron, summoning ghosts. This house is already haunted before I summon anything. So.. *** Three years living alone in this house, I get so good at covering my pain. I can laugh, and smile, and full of expression, but I have a painful headache and constantly control the urge to throw up. Once the call was end, I throw up for like.. three times. Four.. I don't know, I didn't count. I was busy emptying my stomach. So now I understand how Bu Ani or Bu Ainun have a serious illness, but none notice until it's too late. Women can easily ignore herself when it comes to other things they care about. So girls, be grateful if you're still single. It means that your world still revolves around you. Once you got committed to someone, your body isn't yours anymore. Not even your mind, because you will constantly think about them, make sure that all of their needs are fulfilled. Lucky me, all I had in mind

Wanna be Empathised PMS Women?

  Here, let me give you some clear description on how PMS feels like. ONE: MOOD SWING. Have you ever watched a hillarious sitcom, and everything is soo funny, but instead of laughing, you cry? When the scene shows a stupid act between friends, all you had in mind is how you miss your friends and you will never get to hang out with them again because they're all married, and you're not married and you think you will die alone.  Or.. When you ask for a raise, a very tiny little insignificant amount of raise, after all you did to the company, and you get rejected, and you just cry right away? Yep. That's how PMS suck. You cry alot for no reason, or small reason, or whatever. Reasons or not, you cry anyway. TWO: HUGE APPETITE You crave foor meat, spicy food, you can digest everything and clear the fridge immediately. The foods that have been there for weeks, now gone within second because PMS turns you into a hungry bitch. THREE: GIANT PIMPLE To me, PMS always about one effing

12.19

  I'm not gonna lie.. I'm scared of my own house now. I just did my night routine, and I can't close my eyes for more than thirty second. I'm too scared that something will suddenly stand up behind me from the mirror when I open my eyes. Also, I can't take a look to that corner. In that corner, there's this high white lamp, and maybe kinda feels like somebody standing there. That's where I saw it last night. God I can't get rid of that face. It feels really really real.. our eyes meet, so I can picture those eyes right now.  Maybe I'll sleep with lights on now. I can't have my self alone in the dark.. not now. Or maybe I'll just watch the show.. *** Bogor, January 8th 2021. On this day last year, was my first day trip to Raijua. I was nervous, super nervous, and almost called it off. Now can I call this house off? Like.. selling it with a real good price, move somewhere.. I can be a kost girl again. Free as a bird. But.. I love baking, now. I

New Girl, S2E25

  Seeing Jess crying because Nick called it off, kinda reminds me of something. Also, it makes me realised the pattern. Why she has the same pattern as mine? Break up from 6 years relationship, got cheated on, find a soulmate in a friend but never worked it out, date an old man (why there's always an old man involved?), and try to make it work with the friend, it did work out, but it's not real so they have to call it off. Why?  Is this some kind of common pattern? Also, Jess is in her thirty. I mean.. I'm basically thirty. I hang out with thirty-eth people and older.  I really need to break this pattern. I know I have to.  Or.. Maybe I should just see where this is heading before deciding my own direction. Like.. You know.. I moved out from my old rented-room to a rented-house with a housemate, doing some womanly thing like cooking and cleaning and being adult, after I finished F.R.I.E.N.D.S. TV Series means more than just entertaining to me, if it fits like F.R.I.E.N.D.S.