Showing posts from April, 2021

Hingga Terbit Matahari

  Semburat kuning keemasan, berpantulan di satu petak dinding. Lalu dua.. tiga. Perlahan kabel hitam kemudian menguning, terlapisi sinar yang baru menyembul. Masih pagi. Suara udara masih hening. Suara air, masih terpercik. Suara burung.. masih ramai berceloteh. Menonton matahari terbit memang selalu memukau. Menarik kembali kesadaran pada penciptaan alam semesta. Pada Bumi yang patuh untuk setia beredar mengelilingi matahari. Dalam garis edar tak kasat mata, dengan sistem yang terjalin amat rapi.  Di sanalah tercipta waktu. Konsep kekayaan seluruh umat manusia. Konsep misterius yang mampu menyenbuhkan semua luka. Hanya dengan menyaksikan Sang Matahari terbit, tenanglah jiwa. Pagi ini saya sempatkan untuk menyaksikannya menampakkan diri. Perlahan memantulkan semburat kuning di tembok tetangga, lalu meluas, dan meluas lagi. Walau langit di sini tak seluas di atas laut, yang terpaut kabel penyalur beragam informasi tuk memastikan kami semua terhubung dengan dunia luar, namun menyaksikann

Freshly Baked Cookie, is the Remedy for the Soul

The house smells great when I bake.  Do you know what is a great thing about baking?  It is the best distraction for the soul. I haven't been well for a while, but tonight.. after two days in a row going to the office, I chose to bake some cookies once I got home. Baking only took me an hour, but it needs three hours to prepare and another hour to cleaning the mess.  I feel better after I tasted them. My cookies taught me to never judge anything by their appearance. Because they might be not so pretty, but they taste really good (at least to me). Also, they smell great.. kinda give me a glimpse of illusion of how one day I will be a mum, and this is the smell that my children long for.  :') Anyway, This isn't me.  This is the PMS-Me. I know I'll wake up tomorrow, with blood in my undies, and say.. 'alright. there she is.' *** Bogor, 22 April 2021   I hope, whoever end up with me, wouldn't mind me trying out new recipes, and willing to eat my ugly cookies or

One call away

  Do you ever have the time in your life, when you sit in silence in your room or your house, looking around all the stuff you have bought, all the experiences, opportunities that have brought you to where you are now.. and thinking.. where is this all coming from?  You see, sometimes.. or in my case, it's most of the time, those amazing things that happened, are all coming from just one call. Basically one call, and your whole life change. To some people, maybe it's the job offer, or the collaboration offer, or other new kinds of offer. And those offers, are the ones that we've been waiting for so long.. we've been dreaming of and hold closely in our heart and it eventually came true. Looking back to where I was five years ago, things would be very different. Ten years ago, I would never imagine that I can be so 'domesticated', staying at home, bake cookies, brew juices, live in an organized way of living, and all the things that I thought was bullshit enough t

World Health Day Post: Forgiving Yourself

Forgiving your self is a real job. It's hard, it takes a lot of time and energy, and sometimes we fail. But once we get into the end and did it, the reward is amazing. If you still struggle to forgive your past mistakes.. time you've been wasted on someone not worth waiting for.. or the sins that you've made when you were young and stupid.. if you still battling in the inside, prevent yourself from blaming yourself.. all I can say to you is this; Walk the process at your own pace. It doesn't matter if it's a slow progress, like an old-grandpa-turtle slow. Recognize every aspects that stings. The things that when you remember it, you start to hate yourself. Hold it. Hold it tight. Tell yourself, that it was in the past, and there's nothing you could do but to forgive. Forgiving other people who do bad things to you is easier than this. I know, because I had it too. But you can't live a full life before accepting who you are, and those mistakes, are part of yo

Labelling when you're burning out

  Burnout is new to me. I don't know what to do, nor that I have motivation to do anything. 2,5 hours has passed and I did nothing on my desk but to scroll stock market and buy a couple of lots. I have nothing in mind, and this is when I decided to write this down: When you feel burnout.. try to recognize the situation. Try labelling the feeling. Why. Why you feel the way you feel now. Ask why for five times. Why you lose your motivation. Why you need company. Why you need to talk to other people. What is it that you want? How to make you feel better. Keep asking these questions until you know what to do with yourself. It doesn't matter if you remain stoic or take no action about it, as long as you got the label, you put it clearly in your head, and enjoy the rest of your day, in stoic mode. Time you enjoy wasting, is not wasted anyway. Do it mindfully, at least, so that you won't regret it later. This is a tough time for everyone. It feels like last year, only recent. Feel