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Kayaknya lebih baik mati saja

Aku bisa merasakan itu sekarang. Why some people would think suicide is much better than live an empty life. And apparently, this has nothing to do with the connection to Allah. Nothing.
Recent posts

The True Happiness

Selama dua pekan terakhir, saya menenggelamkan diri dalam kesibukan yang Insya Allah berfaedah: menggali ilmu. Commuting setiap sore, pulang jelang tengah malam, demi mendapat pelajaran baru yang saya pun tidak tahu akan seperti apa bentuknya.

Ada dua kelas yang saya ikuti; kelas Bahasa Arab (ancient Arabic) yang membantu kami memahami Al-Quran bersama makna-maknanya agar tidak lost in translation, dan kelas Bahasa Inggris khususnya untuk persiapan IELTS. Kedua kelas itu saya ambil tanpa berpikir. Saya tidak berpikir bahwa saya ingin benar-benar mendalami Al-Quran atau ingin mendaftar kuliah ke luar negeri dalam waktu dekat, sama sekali tidak. Dua kelas itu saya ambil simply hanya untuk mengikuti kata hati, follow your heart, they say.. jadi saya ikuti.

Sebagai orang yang tidak pernah mengecap rutinitas commuting Bogor-Jakarta di rush hour, sepuluh hari terbayang akan lama sekali. Apalagi setelahnya dilanjut dengan empat hari commuting yang pulangnya benar-benar jam pulang kantor seme…

Breakfast in Tiffany..

A wild young lady looking out for money, abandoning love, because she’s afraid of love. She refuses the idea to be belong to each other.. she wanted to marry for money, but ends up marry for love.
Four words.. Is all it takes.
Will You Marry Me,
Even if with a cracker jack ring. A worthless bent iron. Love.. is beyond. No diamond can measure the amount of love that two people have. Its beautiful.. really beautiful.
Breakfast in Tiffany, And you should watch this with your loved one

I always wanna fly..

If I look back, my childhood dreams used to involved something with flying. First, I’m in love with celestial matters from RPUL book that I memorised the name of the planets since I was iin third grade (which the subject is for sixth grade). Second, I wanna be an astronaut because they’re really cool and they can see the planets and I really wanna visit Venus. Third, I wanna be a flight attendant, or stewardee as I said. The third one was the most frequent one to be spoken in front of English class everytime we had a task to describe about our self in English. So..
I don’t know why, but flying has become my dreams since childhood. Now I know that I can’t fly, can’t be an astronaut and too late to be a flight attendant,. I guess I can be something else.
Stay in the ground, but fly high above the sky.

Dream World Wide Tour Bayyinah Institute

Early on this year, I saw this video popped up right at January 1st. I was on the train, back from Surabaya, and I had nothing to do but to check the video. It was Nouman Ali Khan, saying that he’ll stop making video on youtube, but is doing World tour instead. I just known him for a few months that January, so I was kinda disappointed, but also not so disappointed because in fact, there are still plenty videos of him that I haven’t watch yet.
Weeks go by, then its Ramadan. I saw him giving lecture in Masjidil Aqsa 25 days in a row, which I never missed. I watch every single khutbah daily, as I ride to office. My heart is at peace. Until one day.. in late August or early September, I saw his video again, new this time, and it says ‘please check Dream World Wide Tour on bayyinah dot com’. So I go to the website. And my heart was like.. explode when I saw Jakarta, November, and without thinking twice, without even bother to see the ticket price, I bought the ticket. 9 days of class plus …

Broken Glass in Peace [Fiksi]

“Rain, Rain, go away, come again another day...”Rain melempar syal yang dia kenakan ke arah suaminya. Wajahnya sekusut rambutnya yang tergerai tak beraturan. “Rough day, eh?” Suaminya masih menggoda, tak peduli dengan wajah kusut istrinya. “Am exhausted” Ujar Rain sambil melempar tubuhnya ke depan menubruk bantal dan menenggelamkan wajah. Suaminya mengikuti ke kamar, duduk di samping istrinya. “Mereka berulah lagi..” Rain mulai bercerita. Air mata yang sedari tadi dia tahan akhirnya mengalir tanpa ampun. Revan diam menunggu Rain melanjutkan.
Rain kemudian berkisah tentang orang-orang jahat yang selama ini mengganggu kehidupannya, same old same old, batin Revan. Tapi istrinya ini terlalu keras kepala untuk resign. Menurutnya resign adalah cara paling lemah, dan secara tidak langsung menyatakan kekalahan dirinya.
“Ini kan bukan masalah menang-kalah, sayang..” Revan mencoba membujuk “ini soal kesehatan mental kamu. Kalau terus-terusan begini, kapan kamu bahagia.. kapan kamu bisa senyum buat ak…

An Alien

The commuter is calm tonight. Less crowded and only took me a while before it came.The class dismissed ten minutes early, which makes me arrive at the station ten pm sharp. Things are smooth.. Until a thought strikes in.
I am home with a huge lesson I just learned. And nothing I cherish more than a person who would love to hear everything that I just learn. Sharing is the fundamental key for me after I hear a big-sophisticated idea.
But I have no one. Physically I live alone, And emotionally, I am now being alienated to the only enviroment that I’m close with for the past four years. I can’t talk to my friends as often as I used to. They were there, surrounding me everywhere until the last two years, when everything started to change. Life happened, and they’re all move on. They got married, have babies, and now their hands are full with life.
I still have my parents though. But eversince I was a kid, their thinking, never fits mine. And there was the first place which I felt being alienated.…