Minimalist Indonesia

  Hi, it's been months How have you been? How's life since we stopped talking? I won't lie, I miss you But I know missing you isn't enough of a reason to reach out again I really hope life is treating you well I would be so happy if you truly happy now Not hearing from you has brought me some peace, but honestly even though we're not in touch, you're still in my heart and my du'a every night I still think about you all the time, You're always on my mind, and in my heart part of me wonders if you still do though I'm not sure, but I secretly hope you do I revisit our old messages, I know I shouldn't. But they remind me of how happy we were, I still have your pictures It's the only way I can see your smile now I don't know if things ever work out in my favor, but I know things always work out in Allah's favor. And that is the best of the best situation that could ever be.  I miss you. --- (Found it on tiktok, and I kinda like it).

I saw you last night in my dream. You were just standing there, saying nothing. You didn't apologize like you always were. I want to tell you how I still spend almost every night crying. Its been three months now and the wound still shed tears on me. I know you might be thinking this isn't your fault.. Or just like you always said "I didn't do anything". But yeah you hurt me, and I forgive you but it still make me cry and I will let this make me cry. Until its not anymore. I believe one day it won't make me cry again because I ask Allah for that and I believe Allah will make it true.

Just like another human being, I've been hurt before.. and the one causing it probably is having some good life now, and I pray nothing but the best for him. Healing is not a linear process, its true that some days feel good, some days you cry over a chocolate cake in supermarket. And today, I am checking the wound if it still there. Oh yeah, it still there.  Topics around marriage, Islamic wedding, and finding perfect spouse still triggered the pain. Alhamdulillah, it means my heart is still functioning and still processing the grief. I will be fully healed someday, but for now, I take it as a sign that my interest is not anywhere around marriage. If it should happen, then it will. Because this time I have learned the right way. But my interest is to enrich my brain with new knowledge, to make myself a library for my kids. It is clear now that my generation won't be the generation that will conquer Rome. So, might as well be prepared to gave birth to one.. or some.. So I still...

To those of you who still in the middle of healing journey, I know that this path is not linear. There will be rebound, sometimes you feel okay, sometimes you feel broken. If the one causing the wound is an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, sometimes the thought of them soothe you, but other times it breaks you.  But as a muslim, we ask Allah at least 17 times a day to keep us on the straight path.. so does it mean healing is not the path to Allah, because it is not linear? Humans are all made of emotions, some are just good at hiding it, some are being the slave of it, and only a few can control it.  Being in the healing journey which sometimes break your tears in the middle of work doesn't mean you are not in the path of Allah. The beauty of this religion lies within the heart. Intention sets the tone of our outcome.. if suddenly now you feel sad because you miss that toxic ex who told you his ex girlfriend cheated on him while he was the one causing it, then cry. You can cry but ...

There are many aspects of health that we started to pay attention when we are about to perform Umrah, and for me, this is the most exciting part. Starting from maintaining our body movement. Since I made the decision in December, I have even more motivation to go to the gym. One hour threadmill isn't so boring anymore because I am imagining as if I was walking around the ka'ba. I think this is crucial especially for those who work 9to5 sitting down in the office, our body needs to have a 3 months of warming up before actually doing the thawaf and sa'i. The second is general medical check up. I am grateful that Allah provided me with a free medical check up via the office, so I have no issue in this. If you want, there are some Islamic hospitals that provides general medical checkup for only 750.000 rupiah or in Prodia for 1.500.000 rupiah. But normally people take this option for hajj because of the longer time and more people.  The third is preparing your own personal medi...

  I heard people say that those who go for Umrah or Hajj, are because they are being invited by Allah that's why they are also called "the guests of Allah". I think that's true because just because you have the money, doesn't mean you have another resources to do Umrah or Hajj, and time is one of the main resources. Many of us need to work 9to5 for the rest of their life. Time is not theirs, but belongs to the corporate who hire them. This is so unfortunate, and I pray that everyone of us could have the freedom to choose what we want to do with our time, including me.  But speaking of time, I think 2025 is an exquisite year. The 1st of January is equal to the 1st of Rajab. The 1st of Ramadan will be on the same day with 1st of March (Insya Allah). And the Nisfu Sya'ban (15th of Sya'ban) is on FRIDAY. How I love Friday..  Time is what we need to have before we go for Umrah or Hajj. For me, I am blessed because I have the privilege to work under flexible wor...