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You had me at..

You had me at the first silence smile and awkward conversation on my office’s guest room, followed with a tidy roll of saroong you kept in a pocket for Friday prayer, and you lose me at silent words when my birthday came. No, its not about the day. Its about the thought that hit me hard, a woke up call for my long life illusion.
If someone said that.. “kamu ga punya tambatan hati sejak putus”.. no they’re wrong. I have one. One since the day I broke up. Arians are known for their loyalty, just so you know. I’ve been keeping this love for three years and when its about to be the fourth year, I confessed.
Not a.. romantic kind of confessed, but more like a quick confession and not to be discusses. But I did. For the first time in my life, I was there.. swallowing my pride and texted him that, which he responded with his way.
And I moved on. Or tried to., but still trying. All I know that the past three years was a great lesson for me on how to love. that is something I treasure., something I …
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Only the..

18 days and am thriving. Never bored, never will because I have plenty of things to do indoor and staying home for this long has always been my dream!Only the boring are bored
*** Bogor, April 2 2020 00.15 19th day to Stay at Home and ILOVEIT!!
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Berpuisi

IndonesiaSatu-satunya yang aku punya

*** Bogor, 31 Maret 2020 Aku pernah insecure krn tdk pernah benar-benar menjadi orang yg berasal dari satu daerah. Dan masih merasa insecure. Tapi aku punya Indonesia, dan aku semua nya Indonesia. Makanya kurajin pake Bahasa Inggris, Karna kalau Indonesia sudah semakin terkotak-kotak dan tdk ada lagi tempat untuk orang sepertiku yg darahnya campur aduk, aku akan kabur ke luar. Di sana, Aku akan punya identitas: Indonesia.
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When starting a bad day..

I woke up and my head was heavy.
Crying before sleep was never good for your mood. Especially when you determine to always start the day with a good thought.
So...
I woke up,
Brew my coffee,
Sip it slowly,
Took a shower,
and put my best dress on.
One that I bought from.. maybe a year ago, but never wear it, karna ini cuma baju rumahan biasa tapi modelnya lucu. Simple, cute color, a mix of army green meets soft orange, celana selutut sporty style, and two layers of top; cute army green tank top covered with cute soft orange with an asymmetrical cutting-bat wing. I feel like photo shooting for magazine cover when putting this one.

And that.. my friend.. was how I managed to survive the online meeting. Everything after those scenes is good. Because all I did was sitting on my chair facing the door, a bit view of the peak of neighbor's tree and sitting therefrom after the meeting until I write this post at 9.36 pm. Not moving let alone sleeping.

Tahu-tahu sore, dan belum makan siang. …
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Satu jam kemudian setelah postingan terakhir, sy sadar bahwa.. ini semua hanya karena satu orang. HAHA.Jadi butuh sepiring nasi, telor dadar, sama kecap yg sy goreng sambil nangis hanya untuk sadar bahwa.. yaampun.. ini toh ternyata.
So all my life i’ve been surrounded by protagonists. Tidak pernah ada bad people yang masuk ke dalam hidup saya, makanya kalau ada satuu saja.. satuu saja.. rasanya hati ini sudah penuh dengan sesak.
Adalah seseorang yang tak perlu saya sebutkan namanya, menjadi satu-satunya antagonist yang mampu membuat lima belas hari yang super menyenangkan ini berubah menjadi sendu tangis dari sore sampe malam, pause waktu group call, lalu lanjut lagi. 
Ya, dia punya mulut yg sangat tajam tapi sebetulnya saya bisa balas dengan tajam dan lebih tajam, jika tujuannya adalah untuk menyakiti perasaannya. But what’s in it for me? Nothing. Tapii.. diam saja dan tidak melawan itu juga sakitnya bukan main. Apalagi kalo lihat dia ketawa ketiwi seperti tidak ada salah (atau memang …
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