Minimalist Indonesia

dapat teguran dari pihak luar,
peserta belum mencukupi, target untuk dikejar tinggi.
banyak permintaan, tapi yang bisa memenuhi tidak ada.
minta tolong sana sini, semua orang sibuk dan permintaan tolong ku bagaikan angin lalu.
komunikasi makin memburuk, grup whatsapp jadi ajang menyalahkan pihak sana sini tanpa mau berbenah diri

katanya kalau hujan adalah waktu mustajab untuk berdoa,
Ya Tuhan,
aku minta kepala yang lebih dingin dari biasanya, hati yang lebih lapang dari biasanya, dan otak yang bekerja lebih cerdas dari biasa. Dan semua itu bisa kubuat, tanpa menyakiti hati siapapun (kecuali yang sudah nyakitin duluan dan gak pernah minta maaf).

And here I am, risking everything for none can see but me. Even though that dream, that one dream, has nothing to do with skill nor knowledge. I can learn and master the art of conquering audience, but not this one. Still.. I risk everything.

Love is trust. Love is faith. Love is something we can’t explain. It could be wrong, therefore, the love we have should be based on One faith. To the Oneness of God, thats all. We can’t plan who to fall for, nor we can plan if we will spend lifetime with them. But we can let Him decide, and have faith this is for the best.

There are people who have love.. but they don’t take good care of it so its gone.
There are people who have love.. and they truly take good care of it but the spouse is gone. Death is taken them away..
Things happen. We fell in love, we have that love, but we get separated.

I wonder,
Why should we met if we have to part ways one day?
Why should we love, if we know this life isn’t forever?
Why should we feel something so deeply…

Grieve is the price we pay for love -Josephine Barry
***

Aku dulu sempat berpikir, apakah jatuh hati itu sebuah anugerah atau justru petaka?
Karena banyak orang yang jatuh hati pada orang yang tidak bisa dia miliki dan malah jadi tragedi. Katanya sih itu karena tidak kuat iman, tidak menjaga pandangan, dan bermain-main dengan dosa. Makanya aku bertanya.. apakah jatuh hati tersebab oleh dosa dan karenanya juga sebagai hukuman untuk membersihkan dosa?

Tidak ada yang menjawab pertanyaanku, kecuali satu video ceramah di youtube yang dibawakan oleh Ust Oemar Mita (kalau tidak salah). Katanya, jatuh cinta, atau memiliki perasaan ke lawan jenis itu datangnya dari Allah. Hukuman atau bukan, tapi perasaan itu diselipkan begitu saja. Sampai di kalimat itu saya terdiam. Ya.. perasaan itu adalah anugerah. Kalau tidak, bagaimana bisa kita merasa bahagia berbunga-bunga padahal disapa saja tidak.

***
Cinta punya banyak wajah. Mungkin kita tidak akan pernah benar-benar tahu bagaimana rasanya mencintai…

I must’ve been relieved since I am no longer in charge for team arrangement. People surely have their way to get rid someone who isn’t align with their tribe. But I’m okay with that, instead.. I feel relieve because I don’t have to worry anymore, to decide who is real and sincere, and who isn’t.

Those who are kind to me for the project, will suddenly.. disappear.

***
Bogor, February 17th 2020
I have my new diffuser now. And when I look in the mirror all I see is a grown up woman, with diffuser and essential oils before her. Oh am feeling so mature.

I know forgetting someone is not just hard.. its impossible. How could you forget if eveytime you try to forget, you remember?
Calm now, child.
Maybe you’re not supposed to forget anyone.
Maybe he’s supposed to be there in your mind.
To remind you of something..
Of how you were ever loved someone that much,
And how brave and big your heart is.
But this must end now. Let the memories remain, but the feeling must stay away.
Forward is impossible if you dip your toe too deep in this puddle.
You can see the world but never happy IF you keep longing for someone you don’t have.

Now,
Set your mind to stop expecting anything from anyone.
But never lose hope, for when it comes true one day, it will be a nicest surprise.
Cherish now,
The world is wide, the future is before you. The road is open, no need to sorrow.
You’ve made this far, baby girl. I love you, and I’ll always be right beside you.

***
Bogor, February 16th 2020
Forward is forward, no matter how slow it is or seems no progress at al…

This time,. I want to tell a short and simple tale. About a servant, who thought that she was a queen and strive to own the castle.

***

Once upon a time,. There was a servant. She was a humble and loyal servant until The King took her as his personal servant. The servant.. say the name Cordelia, was proud to be the number one. She promised The King to give him only the best of her service even if it took her children away.

The Kingdom grows wealthy, many traders came from across the sea. Business transaction was indeed busy. People have so little time to relax, including The King. The servant., surely, was the busiest person in the entire Kingdom. Not only she has to took care of the King but also the whole transaction which involving him. The Queen must not do such thing. She was demanded to raise the prince and princess well, and make sure they grown into the well mannered children.

Long story short, the servant has become entitled on doing such important transaction, including poli…