You're replaceable. You're not Beyonce.


 

***


Dan barusan saya baca pesan yang ditinggalkan berjam-jam lalu. Miris bacanya. Ngilu. Ada sembilu, yang dulu biarlah berlalu. (If the lyric is wrong, don't blame me. I wasn't the one who wrote them, okay)

,,

Begitulah kalau komunikasi terlanjur buruk. Terlanjur dipenuhi asumsi, dan hanya ingin disukai.

Komunikasi memang menarik. Kelihatannya mudah, tapi ternyata banyak aturan yang tidak tertulis.

Saya tersenyum saja bacanya, nanti-nanti saja dibalas. Ngilu lihat bagaimana sebuah bola harus dilempar jauh dulu padahal yang ditargetkan di depan mata hanya karena tidak mau menghadapi langsung. Insecure? Oh yeah, I could be very.. extremely.. intimidating, and I don't care. I don't care if people hate me because of that, I really don't. I try my best to be a decent person, and this is what I came up with. 


Seperti saya yang diam-diam menulis di sini, dengan angka pembaca yang sedikiiiit sekali bisa dihitung dengan jari. I don't care if it turns out that they are one of them, and somehow they hate me for these writings.


I just wanna speak up my mind, because I can't write song like Taylor did with 'Mean' ..

So yeah.. be careful. You're not Beyonce. 

***

Bogor, Still somewhere in December 2020

I've been sittin in my desk since abis magrib, creating all those content for my baby juices. And this is it, I hope finally this is it. The one that will lead me to one thing I've dreamt since I was 8. Because if Indonesia should have a novelist version of Taylor Swift, she should be me. 

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