90 Days of Re-Rooting

 

In order to determine where to live for the next month, I need to breakdown my purpose on why I came to Bali in the first place. This is what I called: re-rooting. I wanna be flexible in where I'm going, as long as my root is deep enough to keep me safe. And I have to write this whole thing down, so I could remember this struggle one day when I'm having a hard time in decision making (again).

I see this phase as a 90 days of trial. A bookmark for new beginning, and I have to reinvent my self in order to jump to another stage of life --whatever it might be. Therefore, in this 90 days, I have to live in a new city. As a greedy person --who claimed to be a minimalist-- I don't wanna spend this 90 precious days of mine settling down in just one place. But I also don't wanna have any regret and live in a some weird place with crowded strangers passing through my door. I'm being very picky when it comes to my comfort level.

First and foremost, I came to Bali to experience a new life, in order to finding what would I feel about solitude. All these times, I've been locked in solitude in my own house, a place that I bought, where I could do whatever I want. Here, I have limitations. Breakfasts are no-longer free and easy as easy as the options I had on how to brew my coffee every morning. After two weeks, I finally know what to do with my breakfast. I have a super fast option when it comes to a busy work-day in the morning, and I'll allow my self to scroll on delivery food menu for an hour (just like this morning, and end up ordering the same coffee from McDonald's). 

Second of all, I came to Bali to live near beaches. My dream is to have a morning spent walking around --or to-- the beach, Sunrise view is a bonus. Now I live near Sunset view but I never had a chance to enjoy Sunset during my workdays (which is kinda my goal). So I have a second thought to move near Sunrise view. A friend from office offered me this place, which is pretty cool, and also only 15 minutes walk from sunrise point. But this current place is getting harder and harder to replace. I like the calm vibe this place gives, with heliconia and pretty glass walls, white curtains, grey sheets, a relaxing modern-minimalist for the eyes. I haven't found another place filled with sun rays and fresh air like this anywhere on the internet.

So now I try to cool down. These train of thoughts exhaust me so much. Then I realised.. what I'm actually feeling. I kinda feel lonely, but also free, in a way that I'm afraid of new places because then I have to start all over again. I've made some friends here, the Ibu Kost even provide room cleaning whenever I want. Maybe I just want a friend. Maybe I don't want to live near anywhere because my idea of fun is so basic (lying down and watch my phone). Maybe I just have to stick with wherever I got a friend. Maybe this is what it's all about.. I need to embrace the fact that I too need somebody else to be around. 

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Bali, 10 October 2021