Allah is constantly talking to you
Have you ever come across the experience where you were thinking of something, and that something happened? Or when you question something, the answer come to your head?
Today, I had a kind of difficult day with work which I never experienced before in this new place. I got here six months ago, and everything is all sunshine and glitter. Happy day, happy thought, happy faces are all my daily digest. Until today, when I suppose to regulate my emotion, and I was begging Allah for one thing I want the most, and yet the answer is no. I couldn't resist but to cry, and yet I managed to regain self control and move on. I asked Him, why. Why did He rejects the only wish I have for the past six months, and then a few hours later an old colleague of mine invites me to a birthday dinner. We used to celebrate our birthday together in a fancy and classy way, because she's way older, way richer than me, and she happened to call me when she's having difficulty at work. After those difficult conversations I had with my now colleagues, having this heart warming conversation, listening to her pouring her heart out to me is kind of comforting. Knowing that she could benefit me, although I did nothing but to listen.
When we hung up, the adzan started to aired. It's breakfast time and I was ready with my meal. Having my meal while watching my favorite comedy show, is a perfect way to make peace with the uncontrollable situation.
A few minutes later, the Sky turned beautifully red. There's a rainbow somehow, that I failed to witness. But I am still grateful for that because it's as if Allah is talking to me, saying that 'I know what you want, but I know better what is good for you. Don't be sad now, because there will always be rainbow after the storm. Wait, be patient, and you'll see.'
Fasting is a minimalist's way to avoid emotional burden. We were not made of patience and gratitude. We have to practice it daily and force our mind to form a habit around it. Fasting don't require any fancy machines, but it truly helps us battling our internal demons. May you and I, will always be in His protection from unnecessary anger.
Bogor, 06 April 2022
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