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Love, for some reason


Love, for some reason, is the weirdest thing in the universe. It is undefined, or have way too many definitions, which led humans to do things beyond logic.

One of the famous quote by Bob Marley says 'you said you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it' which many people find ironic. I'd say.. why not. To me, there are more to life than feelings. Love is just one of those feelings that coloured your day, week, make you the happiest and saddest person, channel you to unimaginable experiences. But that's not the only thing to live. If you walk under the rain without umbrella, you could catch a cold. Your day will be ruined, you may can't attend an important presentation that will led you to a million chance of collaboration. 

My point is, even if you love something, you don't have to torture yourself to be exposed completely and sacrifice logic. That's how I survive this singleton era. I can love a person and still be distant anyway. Because your sanity is way more important than having your mind occupied by a person who never even think about you, or at least make a teany-tiny effort to show it to you. Your mind is the precious gift from God, it is a huge space in which the universe can fit. By being too consumed with the idea of love, that space will be filled by him and him only. And nothing will grow from that.

We should know the differences between people who love us because we love them, and those who truly love us no matter how we treat them. If you force your love towards anything, and then they eventually love you back, what would happen when you stop loving them? When they show you they're not the person you think they are, and you start to doubt yourself even more, and you lose faith on you.. that's the worst kind of heartbreak. When you start blaming yourself.

I feel like I should write and post this one, because I just found a paragraph from the book I currently read. And, just like answering my question on disgusting act of exchanging saliva --from the scene of The Undoing--, this book kinda elaborate it in a scientific-crazy-smart way and I have to laugh so hard because I can sense the sarcasm.

Here goes;

“It seems like a pretty risky business, exchanging saliva and germs for the sake of making a connection, especially given that mouth-to-mouth kissing and the touching of tongues is almost exclusively carried out between non-relatives who could be suffering from who-knows-what. But perhaps that’s exactly the point. It’s a good idea to find out what bugs the potential father of your offspring might be carrying before you make yourself, and your children-to-be, even more vulnerable to those bugs. Not only that, but kissing gives you another, more in-depth, sample of one another’s microbiotas. And with that comes a taste of each other’s underlying genes and immune capabilities. In kissing each other, we are deciding in whom to place our trust, both emotionally and biologically.”

Excerpt From: Collen, Alanna. “10% Human : How Your Body's Microbes Hold the Key to Health and Happiness (9780062346001).” Apple Books. 


I always believe that, working or staying home, married or single, a woman's mind should be stronger than her heart.


Bogor, 12 Feb 2021

Hilarious, eh?

By the way, Hillary used to be my name back in high school; Hillary -> HILma suciandARI 



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About being a strong woman.,

My product(s) are a means to show people that we could and should be happy in wherever we are, in whatever the circumstances. As a single person battling with all the worryness of who am I gonna end up with while dealing with work and life, I must admit that I am strong enough to do it all alone. Including being obedient to difficult father and grandfather. I am strong. But at the end of the day, when I got home after a very long Sunday and clean my self with cold water.. I still wish that I have somebody in this house... to open the hair serum for me. :( Kenceng banget 15 menit nyoba buka tutupnya gabisa2