To Let Go


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My Umrah Diary, part 5: A night before departing

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  I plan to pack my luggage one week before the trip because I was that excited. But work has caught me so crazily to the point that I barely leave my desk for the total 8 hours in the daylight. I couldn't pack at night too, because I'd be busy with iftar and taraweeh and get tired after that. So, today, Saturday, March 15th 2025, I start packing and boy it's an overwhelming thing. I travel a lot.. like it's in my monthly schedule to visit an airport. But I've never been this overwhelm for packing before. As it turns out, pack a casual tshirt and jeans are way easier than packing abayas and khimars. These large-fabric-clothings are not easy to fold, and the thickness of one abaya is equal to three set of my work outfit. I gave up at 19.40 with my luggage is only halfway packed. I will only bring 9 abayas for a 17days trip, and I will make du'a so Allah make it sufficient for me during the trip.  I was never been this overwhelmed before because I could always acc...
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Dandellion

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  Hi, it's been months How have you been? How's life since we stopped talking? I won't lie, I miss you But I know missing you isn't enough of a reason to reach out again I really hope life is treating you well I would be so happy if you truly happy now Not hearing from you has brought me some peace, but honestly even though we're not in touch, you're still in my heart and my du'a every night I still think about you all the time, You're always on my mind, and in my heart part of me wonders if you still do though I'm not sure, but I secretly hope you do I revisit our old messages, I know I shouldn't. But they remind me of how happy we were, I still have your pictures It's the only way I can see your smile now I don't know if things ever work out in my favor, but I know things always work out in Allah's favor. And that is the best of the best situation that could ever be.  I miss you. --- (Found it on tiktok, and I kinda like it).
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Allah is constantly talking to you

  Have you ever come across the experience where you were thinking of something, and that something happened? Or when you question something, the answer come to your head?  Today, I had a kind of difficult day with work which I never experienced before in this new place. I got here six months ago, and everything is all sunshine and glitter. Happy day, happy thought, happy faces are all my daily digest. Until today, when I suppose to regulate my emotion, and I was begging Allah for one thing I want the most, and yet the answer is no. I couldn't resist but to cry, and yet I managed to regain self control and move on. I asked Him, why. Why did He rejects the only wish I have for the past six months, and then a few hours later an old colleague of mine invites me to a birthday dinner. We used to celebrate our birthday together in a fancy and classy way, because she's way older, way richer than me, and she happened to call me when she's having difficulty at work. After those diff...
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