Skip to main content

Liberating Decisions

 



Everyday in our life, we are all demanded to make decisions. Simple decisions such what to eat or what to wear might not be a big deal. As we grow older, we met a lot of intersections. Each of them brought to a whole different kind of life.


I just make my one big decision two days ago. And here's my story.


***


Five years ago I officially broke up with my boyfriend. That was a pretty serious relationship I've ever had, because we were about to get married. Since we were decided to stay with each other forever, we took our first big decision: buy a motorbike together. We were agreed that the motorbike is under his name, but I'm the one who pay for it, so basically it's mine. Two years after we broke up, I decided to sell that motorbike. Because I'm weak for paper work. I hate doing the paper work especially if it requires a contact with the ex. 


Three years gone by, I live my life very peacefully without any ride parking at my garage. I enjoy taking online transport everyday, delivery food and packages, even I rely on technologies to deliver me fresh veggies and meats. I have no problem about that until lately.


Even when I say 'I have no problem about it', there's still a tiny little bump in my heart because sure there's limitation when you have no vehicle in your house. For three years I'm being very creative. I manage my needs very carefully so that I can have more than three tasks to tick when I go to the store or mall. 


Now that my family is here, my sister probably will stay longer before school start to be normal again. I realised that this kind of lifestyle only work when I live alone. So I made a big purchase online; I bought a motorbike. This decision is enough for me, I need to stare at the screen for ten minutes before I input the OTP code. 


They sent me the motorbike a day after, and when I see it, I realised how liberating it is to finally have that one thing you didn't have but you need and yet you keep convincing yourself to not needing it.


***


Life is a result of our decision. A series of one lead to another kind of result. We may hold back ourselves for not having what we need, because we think we can live without it. We are scared to make that decision because we're afraid to change our life. We know that if we take that decision, life will never get the same. Then we trap into the same problem every single day. 


Making a big decision is difficult, but it also liberating. We're not getting any younger as the day passed. We need to start living. Release what holding us back, what getting in the way between us and that life changing decision. I know it's scary. But we need to take it in order to grow.

***

Bogor, 18 July 2021

I end F.R.I.E.N.D.S in July, 4 years ago and now I find Modern Family. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Travel Through Time to Raijua

Menuju Raijua.. bahkan perjalanannya adalah petualangan tersendiri. Kamu harus terbang ke Kota Kupang (atau Waingapu), tapi saya memilih Kupang, lalu berlayar dengan kapal cepat selama 5-7 jam untuk menuju Pulau Sabu. Sebenarnya ada beberapa pilihan untuk ke Pulau Sabu dari Kupang, yaitu dengan naik pesawat Susi Air selama kurang lebih 55 menit dengan harga sekitar 1,3 juta, atau naik kapal Ferry lambat dengan waktu tempuh selama 12-13 jam seharga Rp 80 - 120rb per orang, atau naik kapal Ferry cepat yang berangkatnya malam dan sampai di Pulau Sabu pagi (jadi kurang lebih 8 jam juga). Kapal cepat harganya berkisar di 200rb-an, saya sendiri memilih naik kapal Cantika Express kelas VIP seharga Rp 262 ribu. Di dalam kelas VIP Kapal Express Cantika, tapi jendelanya terlalu tinggi untuk bisa duduk lihat laut Tenang, ada jaket keselamatan. Tadinya saya mau bawa sendiri karena takut menyeberang selama tujuh jam. Tapi rupanya yang harus lebih dikhawatirkan itu menyeberang dua jam

Back to my nir-faedah kinda post.

I was on page 184 when a good friend of mine texted and she suddenly poured her mental state. I was frozen for a moment before picking up my self and texted her back with some rational-encouraging words that I wish could help. This is a tough time for us, especially her, with all burden on her shoulder and the recent loss that we've experienced. It's not easy and never getting any easier, so we just have to face it now, embrace the fact that she's gone and feel the stings for a couple years. I finished two books today, one that I read from weeks ago, and one that I just read and not really have much information that I need. When I decided to go on the third book, only when I was halfway distractions started to come. Alright, I put my book aside and try to attend to the only thing I should attend: life. It's been a week since I shut myself in the house. Not going outside, let alone spoke to another human being. I feel weird doing that especially when I used to talk

Definisi orang baik, dari alm Sri Wahyuningsih Djangko

"Mims, ngana kita mo tarek jadi informasi wa.. ( Mim, kamu aku rekrut jadi bagian informasi ya)" ujarnya suatu hari. Kalimat tersebut menjadi awal dari pengalaman kelas sebelas ku yang penuh dengan kesibukan non-akademis. Berorganisasi di OP (Organisasi Pelajar, atau OSIS) sambil berjibaku dengan lomba-lomba debat bersama klub debat. Entah apa yang membuatnya menarikku sebagai anggotanya di Sekbid Informasi, tapi yang jelas ku bersyukur sekali bisa dipilih sebagai partnernya. "Yuk, torang baku pangge apa e? Dorang bahasa so baku pangge 'aner' ... ( Yuk, nama panggilan kita apa nih, anak sekbid bahasa sudah punya panggilan sendiri yaitu 'aner' )" kataku di hari yang lain jauh setelah pelantikan. Dari situ tercetus lah nama Parti alias Partner-Informasi. Aku panggil dia dengan Parti, dia panggil ku pun dengan Parti. Panggilan itu bertahan hingga dua belas tahun kemudian, sampai akhir hayatnya. *** Namanya Yayuk, orang kenalnya dengan nama Yayuk