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The Winner Stands Alone

 



I know it sounds pathetic, spending long weekend alone in the house. If I would, I could, go outside, drive to the beach, or simply just come home to the flood, or randomly visit an old friend.. But I don't want to.


I remember one day when I realised that I can't befriend with people that I work with if I'm about to lead them. Then a woman came and says there's a book about that named 'The Winner Stands Alone'. I'd agree, until another woman whispered to my ear, 'but that's lonely..' and I agree as well. But that's just the young me, who was confused on being who she is. Later on I know that, even if you're alone doesn't mean you're lonely, and the woman who whispered that to my ear, is the one who live a life based on what other people say to her.


It is lonely to always try to please everyone. It is lonely to keep chasing people who was only there because we demand so. It is far better to be alone than to waste time with conditional loves.


So I chose to be distant, and found comfort in solitude. 


And if you do too, if you know what it sounds like to be alone with your thought, then maybe we could be friends. Because people like us, only wanna hangout with our tribe, the kind of people who know how to value their space and other's. It's okay if you feel weird, because we are. We don't have to be normal, let alone perfect. We don't have to match our standard with others. Yes, I admit, I still and always will need a companion. A lover, perhaps, or a partner. Whatever we name each other. But I don't have to force anything for it to happen, and neither do you. Nothing good ever comes when you force or rush something. 


It's okay if you think you're weird and different. I do too. I spent my past life in disguise, hiding the true me just so people consider me as normal. Not until I turn twenty eight that I realised, the real friends wouldn't care if you're normal or not. As long as you were there for each other, and respect each other's boundaries. That's how I slowly reveal my inner self, and see who'd stay. 


It's okay, because sometimes, the winner stands alone. The leader can't have a real connection with the people who work with them. Sometimes, all you have to care about is the small circle around you and only them. Because the world is too big, seven billion people and you can't feed everyone's ego. Chose what really matter, even if that means you have to be very alone.

***

Bogor, 13 February 2021

I stay home and My Baby Juice got a lot of order lately. yay!

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