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Revelation

 


I just realise something... well.. two things, actually. It's not something if you can define how many is that something is, right?


I was lying on the floor this afternoon, habit, filling the gap between Magrib and Isya, because I'm too lazy to take off my prayer clothes and because I like to do some thinking. (As an excuse to procrastinate reading The Quran). I realised that.. last night.. I forgot to close the trash bin. 


Yeah. I put a bone in that thrash bin, in a plastic bag, but I didn't close the lid. I let it open, and maybe that's the cause of my terrible dream last night. Syaithan loves bones and blood. If you have left over meat or something related to animal containing flesh and blood, you better throw it away or put it in the storage. I wasn't thinking yesterday, and I was too busy with work my new hilarious series. 


I also realised that.. their appearance in both of my dreams.. they both had the same expression. I really like to put it here, but bad dreams shouldn't be told. That's sunnah, if you have a bad dream, just keep it to yourself. And I got goosebump right now. But my point is, they both had the similar facial expression. Which got me thinking.. do they mad at me or do they just tryin to scare me off? Because I do. I'm terrified. 


But I am more scared of Allah, He's the one I should be worry about. Kalau Allah sampai marah karena ku lebih takut sama makhluknya kan lebih mengerikan lagi.


So yeah. This post will remind me a year later, how I love being in this house, how I love lying on the floor, staring at that perfectly-flawless-painted walls, killing the time instead of doing dzikr or praying.

I can do so much, but I end up doing nothing but to stare kolong kasur. Tapi ini juga bagian dari my defense mechanism. By staring at what's under my bed for five minutes straight, make sure nothing comes out there, make sure it's clearly empty even if its' not clean because I have no idea how to move this effing heavy wooden bed. Nope. Nothing there. I can assure me, I am safe. 


***

Bogor, Still January 7th 2021

I can't believe I make it this far.. 

Hey, me. I'm proud of you. 

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