Skip to main content



I just realise something... well.. two things, actually. It's not something if you can define how many is that something is, right?

I was lying on the floor this afternoon, habit, filling the gap between Magrib and Isya, because I'm too lazy to take off my prayer clothes and because I like to do some thinking. (As an excuse to procrastinate reading The Quran). I realised that.. last night.. I forgot to close the trash bin. 

Yeah. I put a bone in that thrash bin, in a plastic bag, but I didn't close the lid. I let it open, and maybe that's the cause of my terrible dream last night. Syaithan loves bones and blood. If you have left over meat or something related to animal containing flesh and blood, you better throw it away or put it in the storage. I wasn't thinking yesterday, and I was too busy with work my new hilarious series. 

I also realised that.. their appearance in both of my dreams.. they both had the same expression. I really like to put it here, but bad dreams shouldn't be told. That's sunnah, if you have a bad dream, just keep it to yourself. And I got goosebump right now. But my point is, they both had the similar facial expression. Which got me thinking.. do they mad at me or do they just tryin to scare me off? Because I do. I'm terrified. 

But I am more scared of Allah, He's the one I should be worry about. Kalau Allah sampai marah karena ku lebih takut sama makhluknya kan lebih mengerikan lagi.

So yeah. This post will remind me a year later, how I love being in this house, how I love lying on the floor, staring at that perfectly-flawless-painted walls, killing the time instead of doing dzikr or praying.

I can do so much, but I end up doing nothing but to stare kolong kasur. Tapi ini juga bagian dari my defense mechanism. By staring at what's under my bed for five minutes straight, make sure nothing comes out there, make sure it's clearly empty even if its' not clean because I have no idea how to move this effing heavy wooden bed. Nope. Nothing there. I can assure me, I am safe. 


Bogor, Still January 7th 2021

I can't believe I make it this far.. 

Hey, me. I'm proud of you. 


Popular posts from this blog

Travel Through Time to Raijua

Menuju Raijua.. bahkan perjalanannya adalah petualangan tersendiri. Kamu harus terbang ke Kota Kupang (atau Waingapu), tapi saya memilih Kupang, lalu berlayar dengan kapal cepat selama 5-7 jam untuk menuju Pulau Sabu. Sebenarnya ada beberapa pilihan untuk ke Pulau Sabu dari Kupang, yaitu dengan naik pesawat Susi Air selama kurang lebih 55 menit dengan harga sekitar 1,3 juta, atau naik kapal Ferry lambat dengan waktu tempuh selama 12-13 jam seharga Rp 80 - 120rb per orang, atau naik kapal Ferry cepat yang berangkatnya malam dan sampai di Pulau Sabu pagi (jadi kurang lebih 8 jam juga). Kapal cepat harganya berkisar di 200rb-an, saya sendiri memilih naik kapal Cantika Express kelas VIP seharga Rp 262 ribu. Di dalam kelas VIP Kapal Express Cantika, tapi jendelanya terlalu tinggi untuk bisa duduk lihat laut Tenang, ada jaket keselamatan. Tadinya saya mau bawa sendiri karena takut menyeberang selama tujuh jam. Tapi rupanya yang harus lebih dikhawatirkan itu menyeberang dua jam

Definisi orang baik, dari alm Sri Wahyuningsih Djangko

"Mims, ngana kita mo tarek jadi informasi wa.. ( Mim, kamu aku rekrut jadi bagian informasi ya)" ujarnya suatu hari. Kalimat tersebut menjadi awal dari pengalaman kelas sebelas ku yang penuh dengan kesibukan non-akademis. Berorganisasi di OP (Organisasi Pelajar, atau OSIS) sambil berjibaku dengan lomba-lomba debat bersama klub debat. Entah apa yang membuatnya menarikku sebagai anggotanya di Sekbid Informasi, tapi yang jelas ku bersyukur sekali bisa dipilih sebagai partnernya. "Yuk, torang baku pangge apa e? Dorang bahasa so baku pangge 'aner' ... ( Yuk, nama panggilan kita apa nih, anak sekbid bahasa sudah punya panggilan sendiri yaitu 'aner' )" kataku di hari yang lain jauh setelah pelantikan. Dari situ tercetus lah nama Parti alias Partner-Informasi. Aku panggil dia dengan Parti, dia panggil ku pun dengan Parti. Panggilan itu bertahan hingga dua belas tahun kemudian, sampai akhir hayatnya. *** Namanya Yayuk, orang kenalnya dengan nama Yayuk

Back to my nir-faedah kinda post.

I was on page 184 when a good friend of mine texted and she suddenly poured her mental state. I was frozen for a moment before picking up my self and texted her back with some rational-encouraging words that I wish could help. This is a tough time for us, especially her, with all burden on her shoulder and the recent loss that we've experienced. It's not easy and never getting any easier, so we just have to face it now, embrace the fact that she's gone and feel the stings for a couple years. I finished two books today, one that I read from weeks ago, and one that I just read and not really have much information that I need. When I decided to go on the third book, only when I was halfway distractions started to come. Alright, I put my book aside and try to attend to the only thing I should attend: life. It's been a week since I shut myself in the house. Not going outside, let alone spoke to another human being. I feel weird doing that especially when I used to talk


Show more