Food and I

 

I don't hate food, I really don't. I just don't see the point of stuffing our mouth all day, thinking about menus three times a day, and sit in silence doing nothing.

I really don't hate food.

But my special trait as an Arian, is we're never do things half-heartedly. When we love, we love hard. When we hate, well.. we can still smile or poker face you, but you're dead to us! Also, when someone is cheating on us or lie to us, we may act like normal and fine about that, but deep down.. like deepest down, you're dead to us.

And that's applied to my relationship with food. I can go three days without eating anything significant --just eat a piece of bread for morning, coffee for lunch, and fruit for dinner-- OR.. I can order a personal pizza, four pieces of garlic bread, and one giant size of Italian Calzone all with mozarella and beef.

Of course they're all for me. Who else live in this house anyway.

I can only doing this if I found a really good series, and this one is the funniest since F.R.I.E.N.D.S.. :') Where have you been, baby, where have you been? Why take so long, baby, why take so long?

Dari kemarin nyari-nyari series bagus, coba nonton The Office, and whatever, tapi bukannya mereka ga bagus ya, cuma bukan itu yang klik aja. You know you have to find the click, right? And it's hard to explain. You need the click to know that this is a good stuff for you, the right one, designed and specifically made, JUST for you.

Anyway.

I ate a lot these days, I think my thumbs got really fat right now. When people see me after this, they will think I'm somebody else. I should better prepare a new name, and start a new life. Fresh start, at least!!

Lol

This New Girl series isn't new, and that's the thing about me. Either I like something old and forgotten, or something that not everyone will like. I'm weird like that, and I'm not ashamed of being me. Anymore.

I should pause in that scene, before I get really emotional. Put aside my garlic bread and pizza (I can only eat them because that giant Italian Calzone was just a heathen desire of mine, I shouldn't buy them because I don't need this much food actually), and write this. That's the scene where Schimdt says "you're an amazing woman. You can do anything in life. You can be a Mom, or not, I will always support you" when Cece finds out that she's pregnant with his baby. This is sweet because.. they both are players, and now they fell in love. (Yea you should aw now, for them).

Love is crazily beautiful. You know that, right? You can't keep numbing your feeling saying that I'm alright by myself, I love my own companion. No, you're not. You need love, just like you need food, even if you're not like it so much but one day or another you will need it. 

At some point, for after series of mistakes I've been thru, it's hard for me to trust anyone, let alone trusting them with my precious-fragile-yet-wonderful-heart. 

I don't know how to start, anyway. I read Eat, Pray, Love, and it seems easy for adult to start a relationship because they're just.. ask. They just say what's in their head, plainly and simply, with all risks.

***

Bogor, January 5th 2021

I should start running again. It's almost been a year since my last run. I should run. I should run.