5 Years Cycle

 Umm...

Umm..

Alright.

Okay.

Now..

***

Yep. I have to do that because if you read this blog from the website, (I don't know why), the first lines are always missing. 

I always see my life year by year, each year I learned different lessons. I learn simple lessons in hard ways because I'm too stubborn to be taught softly. Life should teach me that hard, indeed.

Looking back five years ago, I was as clueless as I am now. I had a job, of course, that was enough to feed me while I'm working on my graduation. As to fill the time, to distract my terrified mind about the unknown reality I was about to face, I watched movies a lot. I watched an unhealthy amount of films a day, talk shows, interviews, you name it. Until one day, the door was opened. Somebody texted me, offered me a job, I said yes, I left my boyfriend old job, and walked into a brand new life. Which.. I still livin until now. 

(by the way, grammarly is so annoying).

My current life, my PRESENT life, is not much of a different. I watch an unhealthy amount of Tom Holland's lip sync battle, dig deeper into marvel's behind the scenes from its interviews, I watched roundtables of actors and actress talked about their work (that's the beauty of being an actor I guess.. everyone wants to hear about your work and how you do things. So if you're not an actor, stop talking about how hard you work, please).

Anyway.. it seems like, I'm doing a circle. That in every five years, I should really learn one big lesson and it's about the alteration of life. From single to having a boyfriend, from doing a shitty job (but had a boyfriend) to being single again but have an amazing job.

Maybe it's about gratitude. To be more present and open to any possibilities. 

Or maybe it's about work even harder and braver, and say yes to the world.

I still have no clue about what is the big theme to conclude the past five years, and as a headline to enter the next five years. All I know is, when life hits you hard, you don't fight it. You should take that punch, remember the shitty person you used to be, apologize to the universe, bettering your self, and live. Maybe you could take a break, doing nothing, not answering calls, not replying any texts, just go out to the groceries, buy your self an expensive broomstick. Maybe life is as simple as you change the color of your bedroom light, and be present. 

Looking back, life was always seem easy, but it wasn't. It never easy when we were there, and so today.

I hope whoever reading this page today, have the ability to spot every blessing around you. Because maybe, it won't happen twice.