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The Art of Enjoying Situations

Things are going through our life.. good, bad, good again, bad again,, on and on it keeps coming up like a never ending story. Some people walk in their shoes with their mouth shuts, and some other wouldn't stop talking. They talk and talk, feel like communication is the key to all problems without realising that communication is also the cause of all disaster.

The road seems like have no end when we're in terrible situation, it all gloom and dark. But it turns to seems shorten while we're happy. And why is that?

Maybe it has something to do with relativity., and relativity is also applied to our scale in the end of the world (Einstein is truly a genius guy). I will elaborate about this later. For now, let me talk to you about the people who never live their time to the fullest.

Sad People

Why are they so sad? What do they upset about?

This question may lead to various answer, and everyone with sad hearts will be glad to talk to you about all these whys. But is that wrong? No. Is sadness forbidden? Also No.

Truth is, everyone is going through their own sadness, fight their own battle. Some people just better at keeping it for them self than the other. People with sadness, or depression, tends to care about them self. There is this theory, and I've heard and read about this in almost everywhere, that depressed people only care to them self. They compare the world to them self, and make them self as the centre of the universe. Which leads to a much trouble.

When other people happy, they will compare to them self 'why I can't be that happy' and feel sad. When other people get their blessing, they will ask in silence why they don't get such blessing, maybe God is mad at me for my terrible past.

People who is sad, has nothing to do with blessing or money or family. One could have everything and still feel sad. Here is why:

They don't live the 'now'. They think that they are happier back then, so that they keep missing the old times. When we were this and that. That is one cause of sadness; holding on to the past. No matter how happy the time was, it's in the past. No matter how terrible it was, it's also in the past. Nothing will take it back for you. You just have to accept it and move on. Happy time gave you happiness at the moment, thanks to the moment and move on. And so the terrible time, it gave you lesson and shape you as who you are now. Living life at the moment is one thing of an Enjoying Situations.

You don't have to forget the past in order to move on, you just have to remind your self that the happy time was back then. It happened once, and now make another one. Live for today, none will promise you tomorrow.

They also focusing on what is missing. We all know life isn't perfect, right? Sometimes you want the cake and you have the cake, but you want it sweet and fluffy but all you got is the sweet and hard kind of cake. Will that be okay for you? Or will that make you breathe in disappointment and keep complaining how hard the cake is?

We all make wishes and some of it may come true and some may not. Why bother? You can't have everything you ask (unless this world belongs to nenek moyang lu your great grandmother). When life give you cake, eat that goddamn cake. You will stop searching for more, because if you keep on searching, there's a chance that you get a bitter, hard, and musty cake. Euw.

Another cause of sadness is expectations. Oh boy.. this is a dangerous mind game which can make you fly with a private jet and feel not enough. Expectation comes with greed. And when it doesn't meet your prediction, no matter how beautiful it is, you can still feel sad and disappoint.

People who always sad, usually tend to be wanting for something they can't have. Ignoring what they already have. While actually everything happens for a reason. I repeat; EVERYTHING. You may get no car, only a bike because you could go easier with that, considering your personality is an impatient-hard-headed dude who can't enjoy traffic. Don't blame the world for not giving you extra money to buy car, the world fits you and your personality; that you are not ready to have a car.

Things that you get, are always the things you are best with. If only you could find the best in every situation.

There are also people who act the other way around, they can always.. always find badness in every good situation. Let's say, there is a saint. This saint gave religious talk in almost everywhere, he is famous and is known as a beautiful minded person. Then there is this people who (as I mentioned before) has a great capability in seeing the badness in every good, and this person start to find the flaws (which there must be one or two in every human) in this saint. And voila! All they talk about is that flaw, that this saint is not a saint because he humiliate other religion, or that this saint is body shaming, and that makes him not worth to hear.. and the long list may goes on.

You know...

Having sadness, or showing weakness, are all arising negative energies. And energy is eternal, it wouldn't be destroyed.. when your soul radiates some energy, first it will radiate all the people around you before it comes back to you. This is the circle that everyone needs to avoid. Whenever you detect negative vibe, I strongly suggest that you either run or kill the vibe. (Depends on how mentally strong you are). Protecting your self from negativity, is also means protecting other people to negativity, including the one who is the source.

So in the next time you feel sad, all you need to do is remember of Allah. Or your God in whatever names you praise. Remember Allah is Ar-Rahman Ar-Rahiim, The Most Merciful. He won't let you down if you ask. Asking help from human, they will give you help. But asking help to Allah, He will not only give you help, but he will give you series of blessings because He Have Everything. There's nothing that He can't do, only if you believe. Whenever I feel sad, this thought help me going through some dark night.

I also have some dark night where I was lonely, and feel like having nobody. Living in the house by your self as a woman isn't easy. The pressure comes whenever you hear them whisper 'how brave she is' but you know you're not that brave that you're freaked out to death when there was a lizard in your door. But do I need to talk about it? Sure I do! When I did, what do I got? Nothing. I got nothing. I was expecting calmness whenever I talk about my problem, but the result is disappointing. I often become feel bad on my self right after. Because most people will compare My Problem with Their Problem, and as a child,. mine is nothing. Just a little dust spread into this world. So I learn to keep my mouth shut, and my sadness buried. It feels heavier when I don't talk. Until I realise I always have Someone to talk to: Allah.

Clarity comes from Him. Talk to Him and believe that He will help you. If not today, maybe tomorrow. There will always be hope as long as you believe. And that hope.. kept you alive.

Only when you believe that your problem will all have an answer, you can start to enjoy the situations. If it is too hot, or too bright, you know what to do. You change places, or decide to dance under the sun. If your kids are too loud and the house is messy, you know that this will not happen when they grow up, so you let them play and you make peace with your mind; it's okay to be messy.. kind of faith.

Peace and happiness is a state of mind. You can't wait to be happy, or at peace. You need to create one. You can't find peace by escaping the realities.. like oh I have so much work to do, let's watch movies instead.. no (euw).. It supposed to be like oh I have so much work to do, I have to do it one by one, slowly but making progress. When in this situation, there people who loves making list, but end up abandoning the list and do the work that out of list.. (raise my hand). You know I know because.. dammit.. I was that kind of people.

You will find nothing by escaping. Realities will hunt you down until you learn the lesson and move on, and you face another challenge. Life is a series of challenge. Face it or run from it, is your choice. You can always run, and live in the beach, dancing to the music, eat when you have something to eat or else just lying around with sound of waves with hunger.. its your choice. But if you love Allah, you will be the kind of person that He loves. And Allah loves a hardworking people.. not overwork kind of people.. a balance work kind of people. He loves balance.

When life is hard, and you feel like escaping is the solution, then it means you are not mature enough, and not worth the blessing.

***

Resurrection Day 

You know there are two phases of doomsday, first when all the universe is destroyed, and second is the day of judgment when all of human ever live in different eras, prophets, nation, religion are all gathered as one with a book in their hand.

This is the day when all of the good deeds and bad deeds are weighed with a scale that is different from one another. I repeat; different! The good deeds, for example, there is a farmer and a governor they both donate one dollar to beggar. In this day, the farmer may gained ten thousand pahalas for that, and the governor get only one pahala. Why? Because the scale is not based on how much you donate, the scale is a calculation between the willingness to pay and the ability to pay. The farmer may only gave one dollar because that's all he got; one dollar. But the governor, he had a thousand dollars and gave just one dollar. Allah is Al-'Adl. He knows best.

This is why you can't compare your misery to other. You may seems what they're going through is nothing compares to yours, but who are you to say that. Have you walk in their shoes? Do you know that this is her first time facing difficulties when life is always easy for her? But you.. you were tested since you were young, life treats you both differently, why must it have to give you same scale of hardship?

In resurrection day, even the good deed we have forget, will also count as a good deed. Even one that is remain in our hearts and have no act.. is also counted as a good deed. Allah is Al-Barru and Al-Muhshii.

Complaining, will never be considered as good deed, so no matter how many times you complain for your hard life or bad situations, you will get nothing but radiating negative energy and harm people around. But in the other way, when terrible situation happen and your heart start to whisper to remember Allah, be thankful instead, praising Allah,. it's not only give you clarity or calmness in your heart, but also counted as a good deed. It will all matter in the resurrection day. If you love to collect points in retailer shop and exchange it with gift in the end of the year, why don't you love collecting good deed to be exchanged with pahalas for your hisaab?

***

Minimalism and Enjoying Situations

The art of Enjoying Situations is also an act of a minimalist. A minimalist realised that we come to this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing but a cloth in our body. Living the life to the fullest is their goal, because they know the best thing in life is not material things, but emotional things. An experience, a memory, is the things that matter the most in the end.

You know, I just lost some big part of my life. A bunch of data. My phone was rebooted because I let the battery dried till zero and that (unexpectedly) leads to a huge loss for me. I thought it was just a small and usual act; ignoring the phone and let it dry and recharge it and everything is gonna be alright. But not this time. Little did I know.. that Friday afternoon was my last time communicating with my friends using the number that I have used for the past five years. (The number's missing is a complete different story, but in short; its gone). I knew it by heart, that sooner or later I will lost this number completely, that my friend need to know that I exchange number. But I procrastinate it like a pro, and using my other number only to limited and closest people. Till this happened.

When it happened.. I was in peace. In a big happiness, the one that I wrote here. It happens so sudden that I limp to my chair.

The first thing I did was crying remembering what is in the phone; numbers, pictures, datas, important datas, books, videos, everything that I can't remember is there. So I sit, say nothing, and embracing the sky fall down for a moment.

Is it hard? Yes it is. It might be nothing to compare if I lose someone in my life, (someone die, for instance).. but it feels as hard as one. Losing one big part of life unexpectedly cause you the same physical pain as you were got hit by something. It cuts deep, and I lost it all.

But I don't wanna get too caught on this, (beside when I tried to talk to someone in order to feel relieved, that someone says 'I don't care about the number, I care about the data, our data, our assessment data that's in your phone' and so I stop talking because that someone doesn't care about me). I don't wanna cry everywhere and show the world that I just lost something important in my life, that I no longer be able to contact them with that number, that I lost all pictures we had when we were on vacation two years ago.. that I lost it all. No. I refuse to that.

So instead, I go home,. contact some closest people I know, told them to delete that number and save my new one. I say thank you to all the lost pictures because the pictures may lost but not the memories and that I tried to convinced my mind, even when I still had those pictures, it has nothing to do with my life (not that I could post it in instagram or something. So.. yeah). And then I moved on. That's it.

If I keep crawling on to the 'why it lost, why I let it dried, why I didn't back them up immediately, why I didn't listen to my heart when it says check your phone .. ' I may still crying until today and can't do anything happy like bridal-showering a mate in office.

And yeah.. the number of memory will not be counted in resurrection day, so why bother.

In the end, we all know that not every possession we had is beneficial for us. Sometimes we only use 10% of what we have and the rest is just a pile of stuff. Minimalist sharpen this thought in their daily life, so that they limiting their stuff only to what they wear daily. There is no special occasion because being alive it self is a special occasion. That's why we need to enjoy every second, because it is a special occasion.

***

The Art of Enjoying Situations

When you feel heavy, like you carrying the weight of the world.. trust me.. no one cares. No one cares if you cry to them on how heavy your problem is. They may listen, they may understand, but that's it. They won't help you any further than a money or piece of advice. Except for Allah.

When no one cares about your problem, why bother telling them one? Only a child who thinks that communication can solve all problem, because grown up knows that the best thing in life is understanding and respect.

When bad things happen, people don't care if you tell them that bad things happen. No one cares, remember? When bad things happen, keep the faith in your heart that this is coming from Allah, and Allah will never tested you beyond your limit. All you gotta do is to live it, and go with it.

When you are in hardship, telling people how hard your life is will only lead to sympathy. Or empathy, that's the farthest people can go. People will try to help you, but you will never feel enough. Because it's not people that you need, it's Allah. When in hardship, turn to Allah. Hardship means Allah misses you. That He misses you because He wants to give you something. He wants to hear your voice calling His names, He misses your sujuud, He misses your tiny prayers.. It's a beautiful thing when somebody is missing someone, right? It shows that He loves you.

When there is something missing, remember that not everything is perfect. You can't have Heaven and Earth at the same time. You should pick one. You can't demand the world to go as you wish, as a human we only need to accept everything.

But when there is something you truly can't accept, then you must make a change. Allah wants you to change your life as well. So why stay miserable if you have enough power to turn the light.

***

Bogor, 08-08-2018
(I did screenshot the 08:08 in 08.08.18 this morning).



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