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The Perks of.. What is all about.

In this journey called life, we met people randomly. Truth is, none of them are random at all. It was all designed and delivered by the universe. There are certain people who cross our path for extreme reason; change our life.

Say, the people we met are the dots. We connect them altogether when the time is right. It takes an open mind to be able to read the pattern. There are reason why certain things didn't work, or why we met few many  wrong people all the way. Maybe.. you were meant to be a wise man/woman, so you have to be brokenhearted for so many times. Maybe, you were made to be a song writer, so you need to experience different kind of loves. 

Like a soap opera, or mystery novel, nothing happened in this journey unless it's a clue to what will come next.

***

So before you met somebody, the one and only love in your life,. you may need to chase the wrong guy for a little. Break your heart, torn your mind, because they left you before the wedding. That was sad,. but it happens because it should. 

In the mean time, you'll learn to grow stronger, to stand on your own feet. To read and to learn different skills. That's when you're about to go a little trip, to meet.. your self. Yes. Your self. 

Meeting a different version of you. The one you never imagined you could be. 

You know., I was a horrible person two years ago. When I first started this career, that totally my dream come true. I was full-annoying-pathetic-sad-attention seeking- kind of girl. I didn't realize until lately, when I met that version of me in other woman. (See, that's how you learn to grow up, you met those people who described your self without them having to explain). 

I'm really sorry if you met me during end of 2015 - 2016 (or a little while in early 2017).

I tried to be the happiest girl when I broke up with my five years boyfriend. We weren't engaged, but we're agreed to get married. It seems like I traded him for a career, but in my defense, I asked for his permission, and he said yes.. (I didn't mean to end the relationship, tho). 

Anyway,.

That was all for the best. Because now I can see how a failed marriage ruined a woman's life. Even if I'm not married, and not capable of keeping my date to stay, I know a lot more things about the horrible truth behind failed relationship. 

Two years ago, my first lesson was to let go. I know now, my ex wasn't come into my life just to be my ex after five years and left nothing. He surely helped me understand the most basic lesson of life; letting go. For the story you never owned.

And then I met another man, who taught me how to love. And not by explaining the word of 'love' to me, but to make me feel one. Was that hard? Yeah, that's the hardest. But simply, after I learn how to let go of the man I didn't really love, I can keep up with this one. Harder, because it's deeper. Not until I recovered, another one walked in. Showing me what it feels like to be loved. He showered me with truth I'm not capable of returning, so he walks away with smile and relieved (I wish). Because he already showed me, what it's like to fight for your faith. Even if she doesn't feel the same, at least he has tried. 

All these are not enough to describe how wonderful it is, to be taught by universe. It all happened so sudden, and ended up with.. one morning, and feel nothing. 

And again, I must've kept learning until the right one is finally brave enough to break my wall. I build it higher everyday, because I'm afraid of the wrong confession again. 

***

This is what you need to be a grown up woman. To keep your mind open for all possibility. I know deep in your heart, you want something so bad. You want a person, a relationship, a true love, which maybe, some of them are too good to be true. 

You are afraid if something didn't work out as you expected. You're sad if something goes against your will. 

Hold this, little darling. Let.. it.. go. Everything. Your dream, your ambition, your power. You can't expect life as how it is. Look at where you are right now. Tell me this is how you always planned to be. Tell me, that you've had some life changing or mind blowing experience by the way you designed them to. 

There is power, beyond everything that rule our life. Me, yours, everything will work out as it has to be. It was all written far before you were born. 

So don't be afraid, or sad. If he broke your heart, you'll find something better to heal the wound. As long as you keep your faith and chin up during the sidewalks. All these are made you special. A real woman, who will fight against all odds. 

***

To my beloved big sister,

Cry if you have to, and then you know where to find me
XOXO
HSL

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