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A Family

You might don't wanna read this, because I'm about to write my truest opinion about family. Because,. none of us could ever chose with whom we become a family.

***

Everyone could be a parent. Everyone. Good people, bad people. Open minded, close minded. Graduated from Yale or never attend school at all.. There's no such thing as minimum standard in order to become a parent. As long as you find someone to make love with, boom. you'll have the baby (terms and condition applied).

Therefore, the kinds of parents are plenty. The debates of being a good parents, are useless. There's no point debating on how to lead the children in freedom or in rules, because everyone has a different faith and struggle a different battle. 

As a kid, we're all been told that we should respect our parents. They sacrificed their life for us to live. They abandoned their ego just to make sure we have a decent world to survive. I couldn't agree more.

But.. what if..

What if the prayer for our parents aren't just made for love? What if.. it was there.. so that God will forgive them for what they did to us, because the one who asks is the one they violated to. 

Wait a minute.. violated?

***

We often hear people says 'disgraceful child' and the story about how a kid disrespect his/her parents and it's a shame on them. 

Have we ever hear the other way around?

No?

Because parents are always considered as saint when it comes to their child. No matter who they are, (including the kind of people I mentioned above). 

There is a nursing home for a reason. And the people who put their parents into it, will be considered as a sinner. Like.. they don't respect their parents, they don't wanna take care of their parents. 

Have you ever think.. why is that happen? No? Yeah, because you're too busy judging and thinking about your self and how saint you are for the way you treat your parents properly.

***

It is easy to respect the parents. If.. they respect their children. And not treating them like a kid, who can be controlled like a machine. 

it's true that parents sacrifice their life for the kid to live.. but have the kid ever ask for that? for being born.. for being dragged out of heaven to this messy Earth? It's all them, right? It's all the parent's. They in love to each other. Desperately need each other. Feel lonely without one another. So they got married, and celebrated their love. And it all.. was merely an act of their own fulfilment. Their own happiness. 

And then the boy was born, their first son and his first cry. It makes them happy to see him cry, they both smiling, kissing each other, amazed at how life could suddenly changed. It's all their happiness. They have proved their existence to the society by becoming a parents. There will be no judgment about them anymore (just for being single). They are free. They are whole. The boy makes them whole. 

Now.. 

The boy has grown. He got his own mind, his own opinion. But the father, in the other hand, won't accept anything he'd say. because for the father, the boy.. is just a boy. Who know nothing about life. He only live half way that makes the boy is nothing more just.. a boy.

The father rule everything. control everything. where will he go to school, which bus he will take, where will he live.. all the following rules must be followed by the next.. what? three years? seven years? Or else, he'll cut his funds. Leave the boy helpless.

'It's all for the best' the father said. But never for a second, the father ask the boy, what is his definition of 'best'.

This.. is where the prayer for parents come in handy. The boy then pray to God, as how they taught him when he was little. The prayer aimed only for his parents. So that God won't punish the parents for hurting his heart.

Yes, parents. Children have heart too. And just like yours, the heart can hurt. They can cry for the way you treat them wrong. If you think they have no right to do that, than maybe you won't regret to end up in nursing home.

***

Children who make mistake to their parents will be considered as disgrace.
But parents.. no.

Parents who make mistakes to their children and never apologising, will never get an apology from their children. Parents who never show their love, will never get the love. Parents who can't accept their children opinion, can't be able to give the children any advice because they.. as well.. won't listen.

Children are the mirror of their parents. If they say 'children these days, are hard to teach' so maybe.. it's because parents these days, are becoming more close minded than they ever was. 

***

We can't chose our family. 
So when we got a chance with whom we should build the family with, make sure.. they won't repeat your parents mistake, and able to learn from it. So you could have a better family, with a better mistake. 

Still.. parents do make mistake. 

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