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Parents Crap

Chuck Bass never be his father favourite as he wished to be.
Blair's parents divorce, because his father was in love with another man.
Nate was having an affair with married woman (and got paid) because he needs money to bail his parents from the bureau.
and Serena? Her mother got married four times - five now - and she raised her younger brother Eric while her mother is busy with the men.

Gossip Girl knows how to put parents as a non-holy-saint-human-being children supposedly adore.

***

Put up your glasses, kids. This post is about to blown your head about the believe they have plant on you.

***

People are getting married these days. For this is a phase where man and woman in my age found each other, make a vows, celebrate with flowers, and live happily ever after. Some of them are soon having a baby, and some other still need to wait another year. (Including me, who is not only waiting for the baby, but also the love I deserve). 

You know what's next? 

Becoming a parents! It's the phase where you panic your self and read everything from the internet. Having a huge fight with someone who used to be your best friend. Different parents, different opinion. We can see that from where facebook posts a fight between working woman and stay at home mom. Some are scientific explainable, some other are full of hatred and disgusting judgment. 

Well.. parents.. ever since we are little, adult always encourage us to love the parents. To treat them with respect, and to obey their rule. They are God's representative for the family, and we only have two of them. One man and one woman, the most perfect human being on earth.

But at some point, children realise too that parents are just.. parents. They are human with mistakes. with ego, and that their story of struggle to raise us is the why we must put them first on our list.

What if our parents is not a saint? What if they are full of judgment, controlling, and close minded person? What if.. instead of grow their children, parents are cutting down children's wings so they can be exactly who the parents wants them to be? What if, the only barrier for children to be excel in their skill, is the dream of parents that they couldn't achieve by they reach old age?

***

Look, I don't wanna teach you to dislike your parents. I am not talking to a teenage-minded here. My point is, being a parent is easy. As easy as you found someone to be committed with, have sex and stuff, and then there's this baby.

(Or maybe some of you will skip the commitment part. whatever).

As easy as it may seem, some of you may need to learn the hardest to be a good parent. You read books, internet, you buy expensive tools to process the best food, some organic-non toxic material that you really wanna make sure your baby doesn't expose with any chemical ingredients as least as possible. But it is not the point, on being a good parent.

Soon enough, the baby will walk it self to the bathroom. They won't need your helping hand to reach your baby-friendly-arm-chair-to-brush-teeth. Or they will go to school with uniforms, and come home with bruises and tears. Or they may be fall in love with someone who has break their heart, and blaming you instead.

Being a good parent doesn't end when the baby stop eating from their baby food chair. It is a life long process, and unless you master the real key on being a good parent, then you'll lose right after they realise how wide the world is.

Because children is imitating. They copy your behaviour like a copy machine. So you need to first, being a better person. A real adult, without baggage. Leave all the past behind, and not get haunted with unresolved love whatsoever. Let children learn how to love, from you two, loving each other. 

A real deal with being an adult is: learn to listen. Learn to let go. Learn to not overreact under every circumstances. You might not wanna hear this, but most adult, really don't know how to put their self in a hectic situation. Learn to not blaming the situation, and think two-three steps ahead.

One day when our tiny little baby is becoming a young adult, they'll lose their direction. They starve for a smart solution, a wise advice, coming from the people they admire. Trust me.. you need it to be you, instead of someone else. You need to be your son or daughter's role model. And if you wish to have a smart kid, then you should be the one who smart kid deserve to admire. Its even harder than cook them a healthy fresh broccoli, I know.

Only then you don't need to argue each other on whether or not you give your kids chemical medicine, or organic liquid from Tibet. Because you are not that adult, who likes to compare your self, and be proud of it. Whose pride is higher than everyone else, thinking that what they did is the best among of all. You don't have to compare your kids and be insecure with their condition (and to covered that insecurity you write this post telling everyone not to do things like them, because everyone is deserve). You just.. simply, do it your own, in silence, and in peace. 

That's the ultimate point of being a good parent, I supposed. Even though I'm not a parent my self (yet) but I do learn Children Psychology in college, during my minor classes. I took Holistic Education and Character Development, with great lectures telling me to read one or two books, which I actually read with full attention (unlike my major, which I only learned from powerpoint presentation and a copy of a note from my friend, who is now a parent).

You can never be a perfect parent, just like how your parents can never be right for you. We can't pick who could be our parents, as blood is what it is. But we can always make things better by changing our mind, and adapt with the given situation. It hurts to always go against the flow. Exhausting as well. So maybe, from now on, you may need to learn to let things as it is. It's fine if you like sport but your son doesn't even touch the ball. It's okay if you are a calmest person in the room but your daughter is the most whiny and active and couldn't sit for five minutes.

Children comes as they are. They may have a blood string with you, but they are not yours forever to keep. One day they'll go. Find the meaning of their own, the why they are here. You are.. we are.. the parents are.. just a medium for them. From the sky to the earth. As we will go back to the sky before them, all we need to prepare is for them to ready to walk alone. Make sure they are ready to be alone. Because everyone does. Sooner or later, they are their own man, and you have nothing to do but to be proud of their grow.

Best,
The after fever situation, and finally I can laugh again.
March, 20th. Two days before my Birthday


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