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Normal

People have their own definition on what is normal. Some chose to refuse being normal, some stay in their normal life while complaining, and some others, try their hardest to be normal.

But.. What is normal? Define normal!

We have different opinion about normal, but the tv said that normal is when you have a big house, pretty face (white skin, tall and slim), luxury car, and a few friends to hang out with. So our teenager started to act as on tv.

And people tend to use the word 'normal' to describe the life they never had. For example, a man who travel a lot for work, will define 'normal' as the way of settling down, have a steady job, a house, a wife and kids, grow old and die. Some people refuse the idea of being that 'normal' but in the opposite side, there are people (who travel a lot for work) craved for that kind of 'normal' life.

What is being 'normal' for me? In this post I'll share to you my journey of finding 'normal' with minimalism.

***

2016 was my worst year. Ever. I was devastatingly messed up and maybe it was the worst version of me who's showed up.

Why?

Here's why.

My boyfriend left, a week before my birthday. He sent me a big brown teddy bear, put it on the door, and not coming back. He said he wanted to moved on in a coffee shop (I boycott). He said he wanted to leave and that's his final option. I cried and begged him to stay (stupid!). Said, I will be the woman that he want. But still.. He left.

I cried in silent the night before my birthday. Having a number of midnight greet that I ignored. None was from him. He doesn't even text me right to just say 'happy birthday'. And he knows how much I love birthday.

I cried the night. and laugh the morning. All joy and glory with friends and coworkers. I met an old colleague in a coffee shop, to tell her that I'm perfectly fine even when we broke up.

I lied.

I was full of lie during that year. Including that one time when three months after the sudden broke up, we met again (ex and I). And again.. Foolishly stupid.. I begged him to stay. I beg and beg. And he agreed to stay, under certain condition. I was foolishly happy.. I met a friend the following day and I tell them how happy I was, of we're getting back together.

Friends and I, we took picture. The three of us. And now, the woman on my right side is engage, and the one on the left is having her dream boyfriend. She got her story right.

It took only a couple of month before it ended again. I gave up, the boyfriend has no effort to maintain our relationship, and so it end.

I was broken. I was broken to pieces. And when I tried to put my piece back together, I covered up all the sadness with annoying joy, weird and strange sense of humour. Which makes me overwhelmingly exhausted, of endless running.

2017 has been better.
It started with a lesson, in quiet and in silence, I learn to grow.

I was with the opinion of 'normal' is boring. 'Women shouldn't do all the housework. Women are equal with men. Women are BETTER than men.' And all stupid judgment I made because I was insecure of my being.

Better not.

Then 2017 came in. With a perfect first four month. Before I was ruined again, fall back to pieces, just to be more broken in July.

That's when I found minimalism. Four days before the most heart-breaking day.

And this is what I learn from minimalism about being 'normal';

***

Normal is when you have a settle life. You feel content about your own, and nothing can interrupt your inner peace. You don't have to be busy running just to chase nothing,

Normal.. Is the life you always wanted to. It means big risk, though some condition may require you to stay at home.. But really. Being a mother and a housewife, is the highest position women can achieve.

That's my dream goal. To stay at home, with five kids, loving husband, and I've got everything I need.

'Normal' life has been defined to me as an endless flight, airports, new people, meetings, and interviews. It was exciting.

It was.

Now as I found minimalism, I define 'Normal' in a new possible way: stay. Be like other people, normal work, nine to five, more or less, home to office, only occasional flight (not a routine like this one), and still be able to keep the food on the table.

Normal is to find contentment in what I normally earn, no need to had extra jobs, because I fulfilled with the one I make. Maybe it is enough to keep us satisfied with just one job, but not enough to keep the fancy coffee or fancy dress in the closet.

You're not gonna die just because you can't afford a fancy life style.

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