All these works got me thinking; was it all worthy?
***
I find my self wake up in numb every damn morning, for another flight. Different week, different city.
And before I came to realization on where I am, I ask my self: who do I do these for?
The answer varies from: my family, my responsibility, and my career ambition. But never it was: for me.
Little did I know, never in my life, I do something for me. I put people before my self. Pleasing people was my goal, I'm happy if everyone is happy. I am sad if people unsatisfied.
Until one day..
I realized that no one is really there for me. When I stumble and fall, the only person who helped me was: me.
Its not that they don't care, all the people around me, they listen when I talk. But that's it. One need to be understood, and so am I. But none will dig that deep for understanding a stranger, while I was doing that for free, to everyone.
Then I made one decision that changed the way I see social relation.
I chose me.
I love me.
I put my self before anyone else.
Thus I make my self a priority, I dont have to sugarcoating my words anymore for a drama I saw daily. I act like I don't care, which I don't.
That makes us a real person as we are.
Because do you know what is dangerous? A fake friend! They do you good, and stab you from behind. They smile, but their heart blocks you from their list. That's the worst.
So when I have to catch another flight, or going to the coffee shop, the answer for a question 'who do I do this for?' Is me.
***
Woman without self love will get suffered easily. She craves for attention none will give. She give with expecting of getting back in return. She never will admit this at word, but her heart buries the desire for same treatment.
None will care to a woman without self love. No matter how good she is to people, she's always be the second choice, because she did that to her self too.
Woman without self love will be so hard to be grateful at what she have. She always need more, the one she could never have because she thinks she didn't deserve it. Woman without self love, is the worst woman to be with. Yet, none ever teach a woman how to love their self.
***
I'm here to tell you about your self.
You are matter. You are worthy. You deserve to get better. Never settle for less if hard work is your daily habit.
Love yourself first, before wanting someone else. Rise, and shine. All woman deserve what they want in life. Be grateful for you are. Dont belittle yourself if yours isn't better. Each of us is different, and that's make us special.
To all woman going on a struggle,
Chose silent.
spend time with your self.
Stay away from communication.
You might don't like it, but all those tears you've shared: none care about that.
They just act like they do, but they don't.
Keep it for yourself. Wear make up. Be pretty. Dress well. And be happy from within. This is all temporary. Why bother for a long term sorrow if the pain in the end is much worse. Save your self while you live. The pain is stronger and heavier when our soul detached the body.
Be happy now.
Be happy tomorrow.
Smile.
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